Honestly, I thought it had been longer. But I guess since my posts became more and more spastic as time went on, it feels like I’ve been absent much longer than I have. But yes, I forgot about my blog.
I mean, first of all I became busier than I expected to be. I started this originally (see Post Numero Uno…actually I think that’s I called it, too! I’m so predictable…) because I had TOO MUCH free time that I spent sitting on my back side being less than productive and having all of my energy sucked out of me. Be careful what you wish for,I guess, cos it changed very much very quickly.
I also was having trouble being inspired to write. A blog is something that doesn’t require one topic to base your writing on, in fact it can change topics day to day. And that became a problemo. Unless I was absolutely struck by something, I had nothing in particular to write about. Although, truth be told, I stopped blogging around the same time that I found something else to write…fanfiction.
I KNOW, I KNOW. 85% of the time I can’t stand reading that trash either. The grammar sincerely makes me want to go out and snap necks. But if there are any sociopaths here who may be interested:
Here’s a hint as to what it may or may not be about…it has a rating of 5/5 shells.
Now this is getting a little long, so I’ll try and be quick about things. In terms of my baby, my love that I birthed all those years ago who is in dire need of editing, it’s been a struggle. I started rewriting it for the THIRD time, but it just doesn’t feel the same. And I worry that it WON’T ever feel like the same book I wrote in the first place. If the remake isn’t as dear to my heart as the original, I can’t proudly produce it in favour of the other one, as desperate in condition as it may be.
Lately, I started forcing myself to write often. I used to scribble down ideas I got on the subway or just throughout the day in a note on my phone but I realized that I won’t get anywhere if I keep setting my ideas aide and letting them sit there, maybe for another five years. That’s not how dreams come true. Cinderella got up and got her own darn ass to the ball, and that’s very much what I’ve decided needs to be done.
So this time, I’m not doing this because I have nothing else to do and need a hobby. I’m not even doing it to fulfill a need to write. I’m doing this to teach myself dedication, perseverance, and get off my lazy behind and take myself to the ball.