Finding inspiration

Last weekend, I was gifted the most amazing, thoughtful and tear-jerking gift I had ever been given in my brief two decades of life. That may not seem like much, but the note that came with it may help to illustrate just how much it meant to me. The note said:

“Every craftsman has his tools. And this is the tool of a writer. Now please- take this tool and use it for your craft. I truly hope that you find the artistic inspiration by using this tool.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. [Some quick backstory] When I was a kid, I had to sneak chunks of lined paper from my mother’s stash to write all of my stories on. Naturally, with editing and lots of rethinking along the way, they got pretty messy. Especially since I was never one to write in pencil. The problem was, when it came time to type out my stories, I had to ask for permission to use the computer (can any of us even remember a time when we needed permission?!), and even when I could, I had to share with my brothers and got booted off sooner or later. So, every weekend when we were at my grandmother’s house, I ogled the unattainable box of my mother’s old electronic type writer. I dreamed of owning that thing, and never needing to ask permission or even bother printing out my digital stories.Long story short, I never did get my hands on that thing.

So I cried when I opened the suitcase-esque box containing my gift and I saw this.*
typewriter3

Maybe it’s a little bit impractical. My mother’s initial reaction was, “You’re actually gonna type on that thing?” Maybe my next best-selling (as if there was a first?) story won’t be typed on it…
but it might be created on it.

This gift not only echoed inside of me, and reminded me of that box beneath a bunch of other boxes that I could never reach as a child, but it did what the gifter meant it to do. It inspired me. Maybe it was a placebo effect from the note, but since I’ve had this thing, I may have only used it once or twice,but I’ve written so much more than I have over the past few months in these mere two weeks.

typewriterpoeminspiration

And all over again, I’m beginning to find the words.

BONUS GIF: Just cos this post was particularly gif-less and it’s giving me anxiety.
jimmy-fallon-justin-timeberlake-give-snl-highest-ratings-in-2-years

Haaaaa. Much better.

* along with a book, a collection of poems by Tyler Knott Gregson called Chasers of the Light. 10/10, would recommend over and over again. I’m in love with it!

Advertisements

Father, I have sinned. It has been 6 months since my last post…

Honestly, I thought it had been longer. But I guess since my posts became more and more spastic as time went on, it feels like I’ve been absent much longer than I have. But yes, I forgot about my blog.
why-would-you-do-that

I mean, first of all I became busier than I expected to be. I started this originally (see Post Numero Uno…actually I think that’s I called it, too! I’m so predictable…) because I had TOO MUCH free time that I spent sitting on my back side being less than productive and having all of my energy sucked out of me. Be careful what you wish for,I guess, cos it changed very much very quickly.
life

I also was having trouble being inspired to write. A blog is something that doesn’t require one topic to base your writing on, in fact it can change topics day to day. And that became a problemo. Unless I was absolutely struck by something, I had nothing in particular to write about. Although, truth be told, I stopped blogging around the same time that I found something else to write…fanfiction.
too-busy-gif-tumblr

I KNOW, I KNOW. 85% of the time I can’t stand reading that trash either. The grammar sincerely makes me want to go out and snap necks. But if there are any sociopaths here who may be interested:
http://www.piratestripes.net/tmnt/viewstory.php?sid=510
Here’s a hint as to what it may or may not be about…it has a rating of 5/5 shells.
turtles

Now this is getting a little long, so I’ll try and be quick about things. In terms of my baby, my love that I birthed all those years ago who is in dire need of editing, it’s been a struggle. I started rewriting it for the THIRD time, but it just doesn’t feel the same. And I worry that it WON’T ever feel like the same book I wrote in the first place. If the remake isn’t as dear to my heart as the original, I can’t proudly produce it in favour of the other one, as desperate in condition as it may be.

Lately, I started forcing myself to write often. I used to scribble down ideas I got on the subway or just throughout the day in a note on my phone but I realized that I won’t get anywhere if I keep setting my ideas aide and letting them sit there, maybe for another five years. That’s not how dreams come true. Cinderella got up and got her own darn ass to the ball, and that’s very much what I’ve decided needs to be done.

So this time, I’m not doing this because I have nothing else to do and need a hobby. I’m not even doing it to fulfill a need to write. I’m doing this to teach myself dedication, perseverance, and get off my lazy behind and take myself to the ball.
Tumblr_static_cinderella_dress_transformation_gif

Are You North Korea or Are You Cuba?

There are almost as many types of people in this world as there are people. I find more and more often, that the vast majority of us can be split into two groups- North Korea and Cuba.

There are people who can’t stand to be told what to do. People who will fight a losing battle, even if only to feel like they’re one step closer to winning the war. These people don’t take no for an answer and they definitely won’t settle for anything less than what they want, certainly not giving up without a fight. These people are Cuba.
tumblr_lltwqbTJOB1qdd8wro1_400

Then there’s the ones who are completely content in following orders. The ones who may complain but have no real means or desires to ignite change. These people choose their battles with care (that is to say, they scarcely do), sway effortlessly with command and don’t bother- or care- to disobey direction. These people are North Korea.
BabyMama-AyeAyeSir

I am Cuba. For me and those like me, it’s increasingly frustrating to deal with North Korea. How someone can be (in my eyes) so stagnant, so careless and so utterly spineless is beyond me.
Lilo-in-Lilo-and-Stitch

But at the same time I have to remember that we are just different- two very different kinds of people. My way is not the only way when it comes to everybody else.

SO although it may boil my blood, if someone else is perfectly content, us Cubas need to learn to just leave ’em be.
belle_shrug
BUT
On that oh so rare occasion that you may spark a twinkle of rebellion in their eye…
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
tumblr_m1ywxmWmEm1qa1xnko1_500

MeghanMarie

Side note- and then there’s Switzerland.
Im_out

Side side note (serious bit)- I’m not just haphazardly using such controversial topics such as the Cuban Revolution and North Korean government with total ignorance. There are recent reports from inside the guarded country that actually state that the people who live there do not feel oppressed and are content- and that they would prefer Western culture to stop enforcing views of the opposite. That is why, when it was brought to my attention that some people are simply content in being passive, North Korea seemed to fit perfectly.

Some things are worth sharing

There is a sub shop in down town Hamilton- where my mother’s side of the family all grew up and live- , and for less than the price of a Subway “$5” foot-long you get one of the best cold subs I have ever and will ever have.

Image

 

(Bonus Gif for the food porn:

Image

Food really does take you places.

Every weekend my family makes the trip from Toronto to Hamilton to be with my grandmother and my cousins, just as we’ve been doing since I was little. And some days, usually in the summer, when we were all together at my grandmother’s house- 4 daughters, 6 grandchildren, my aunts would go get us all subs from the place they’ve been going to since they were in high school. In my grandmother’s basement kitchen with the blue tiled walls and plastic-over-Portuguese-table-cloth, we’d pull the table out from against the wall, bring the extra chairs from upstairs and gather around the same table my aunts’ nasty gum wads from decades ago were stuck under (not a very good day as children crawling under that table when we made that realization). I would pick the cheese and tomatoes out of my sub and sandwich halves were always in the fridge with our initials on the paper for later.

In the past few years I’ve had one of these babies maybe twice (counting today). Two years ago my grandmother was placed in a nursing home for those who, like her, were no longer able to care for themselves. She was diagnosed almost five years ago with vascular dementia – a disease similar to Alzheimer’s in course but brought on by small strokes in the brain tissue.

Her house had to be sold. That means no more sleepovers, no more Sunday roasts (although if truth be told, she forgot how to make that a couple years ago), no more avo’s house. No more meals with the family in the basement.

Food really does take you places. Today, I am back in my grandmother’s basement with my cousins.

MeghanMarie

 

Sometimes I scroll through my blog picture folder (the archives of gifs I pepper my posts with- like how one might say a pizza is “peppered” with cheese) for inspiration. And I end up coming across things like this:

Image

Image

 

Useless. Utterly useless.

Or is it?

Once upon a time there was a….

Image

man with an incredibly rare hand disease known to man as, “Plast Hender’s Syndrome”.  And a very sarcastic attitude. He searched the world for someone who could cure his peculiar predicament. With proper hands, he would be…

Image

He searched far and wide…

Image

…and Up.

Image

But alas, no one was able cure him.

Image

Along the way he met a girl.  As all stories go, the relationship was a little awkward at first…

Image

… and they weren’t without their trials and tribulations.

tumblr_lht722a3wA1qh60jvo1_500

Eventually, she left him.

tumblr_lpm6m6tKeC1qm6oc3o5_r1_500

 

But he always cherished the memory of the only woman he ever loved.

 

Aladdin_and_Jasmine

 

dw-to-be-continued-01-o

Can we talk about this? I think it’s about time.

When I was growing up, everybody wanted to be skinny. And that was a problem.

Image

 

I remember when telling a girl she had a big butt was an insult. When every woman in the celebrity world was either on a diet or an anorexic. When my mother forced more Ragu-coated pasta (which I’ve never been a fan of) onto my plate because “there’ll be no anorexics in my house!”

I was, I wanna say, in grade five when that happened. More or less ten, eleven years old, tops.

Image

It was a thing. A very big thing.

Image

Now, back then I was one of the “lucky” ones. Frankly, I couldn’t gain weight if I tried. I was, and still am- weighing 112 lbs and eating like a 180 lb man- one of those girls all the other girls claimed to “hate”: the one whose metabolism did all the heavy lifting. So I didn’t really have a problem.

Have girls ever asked me, “How are you so skinny???” Yes they have, and no, not primarily in high school either.

Image

I remember when being skinny was a thing. A very big thing. The chubby girls weren’t seen as desirable, and put as a bad option on a MASH chart game along with 1000000000000 babies and a toilet on wheels (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you done missed out on life).  I remember when every magazine was filled with weight-loss tips and tricks, and the miracle pill that evaporated fat was broadcasted during commercial breaks (the one I’m remembering in particular was circa the eighth grade, so a fairly recent 2009).

Image

I remember when none of the little boys wanted the big girls.

And when we all grew up, they fought back.

Image

Image

 

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

For the past three years or so, especially ever since I got twitter, this has been all I see. All everyone sees. It was easier for me to find pictures like that than it was for me to find the ones of girls trying to be skinny.

What happened to being a “lucky” one?

All the skinny girls are looking at each other asking what went wrong? When did the odds change out of their favour?

Image

What matters isn’t the very obvious fact that more vivacious women are taking the stand to love their bodies and be proud of it. That’s the beautiful part of all this. What matters, and what I think we as a SOCIETY NEED to talk about, is what are we doing now?? Are the girls binge-eating to get that bootylicious backside any more healthy than the ones who used to be doing the opposite?

Image

I’m a lizard!(According to this cartoon). Skinny girls have become lizards. We aren’t “REAL”, that’s apparent. Now we’re the ones being told we’re undesirable. When did this happen?

Image

Whether you have mole hills or Mount Kilimanjaro on your chest, there is a man out there who will love you. Whether your butt makes an appearance five minutes after the rest of you or you can use it to roll pastry dough on, someone is gonna be grateful to have you on their arm.

That is not an opinion. That is a fact.

Image

There is something to be said about how this all came full circle. “Thick” girls shouldn’t be any more blamed than the “thin” ones of yesterday. And it is a beautiful, beautiful thing when an entire group of women recognize their worth and exercise that empowerment. Big IS beautiful!

But that doesn’t mean small doesn’t have to be.

Or anything and everything else in between.

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

That, ladies, is empowerment. That is beauty. THAT is something to be desired.

Meghan Marie